HELP! - Co-worker has Betta Vase

[Emerson]

Hi,
I need some advice on how to best handle this situation.

Yesterday I happened to notice that a co-worker of mine (whom I don't know very well; she works across from me) has a Betta Vase. I freaked out, of course, and saw that the poor little guy was just lying on the bottom of the vase, under the roots of the plant. The owner/co-worker was not at her desk, and her light and computer were both turned off. So...I proceeded to pull out the plant and found another vase to put it in, and then covered the vase w/ Betta with a tissue secured with a rubberband. I asked someone if the girl was off for the day, and was told that she was in a class and would be back soon.

A few minutes later, the girl arrived at her desk. I wanted to handle this gently, since this is a co-worker. I asked her where she got the Betta (MalWart!!! Grrrr), and told her that I was sorry that I messed up her plant, but that I didn't think her Betta was getting any air. I asked if she is feeding the Betta, and she said Yes and showed me the food (HBH Betta Bites). I asked about water changes, and she said that she uses purified drinking water and takes him home to clean out the jar. I suggested that she might want to use a water conditioner, one that specifically deals w/ ammonia if she's not changing the water frequently. (It's a pretty good size vase, but I don't think it's a gallon). I brought in some AquaSafe this morning for her to use in the meantime, along with a copy of the Betta Care Sheet on this website. She seemed appreciative, if a little unconcerned. She told me that she had another Betta before this one, and he had lived for two years. Since I personally haven't owned a Betta for that long myself, I felt a little presumptuous telling the lady how to care for her fish.

My question is, is there anything else I can do besides educate the owner? She seems to be doing most of the right things; this morning the plant was still in a separate vase, which I was glad to see. The water still looks a little dirty with plant debris and now there isn't anything else in the jar but the Betta - no hidey or anything to swim in or around - but I'm hoping she will take him home this weekend and either put him in something else (I hinted to her that KMart sells wonderful little one gallon tanks), or fix up the jar so that it makes a better home.

I just wish she had been out yesterday, because I was fully prepared to smuggle him home with me! I even told her that if she doesn't want to fool with him, I'd be more than happy to take him off her hands.

Any thoughts? I just feel bad that I couldn't do more for the little fellow. I am going to MalWart today to see if they're still selling Betta Vases, and if so I'm going to report it to our Humane Society.

sef

[Rachel - old]

I'm impressed Sef! I think what you've done is a great step! I think trying to educate her is probably the best way to help her change her ways. Especially by the fact that you printed out the care guide, it makes the point to her that she is doing something wrong.

I know at my local Malwart they sell the vase with instructions on how to make it into the betta vase. Then you go around the store finding the different pieces that you need to go in it, including the fish. I haven't seen them lately there though, so I'm hoping they no longer carry them.

Anyway, I think you did a wonderful thing and approached it quite well! Had you not actually taken the plant out and discussed it with her, she may have just turned down your advice and left it. Keep us updated! Good luck!

[Emerson]

bethie,
Thanks so much for saying that! I wasn't sure how to handle it without sounding preachy, but I think I managed to stay friendly and calm (okay, my voice did shake a little at first ). I just hope she'll take the information in the Care Sheet to heart and do something to improve the situation for her beautiful little guy (he's a spectacular shade of blue).

I'll definitely let you know how this turns out!
sef

[Tiannalady]

Way to go Sef. ;D My wally world now has about 100 of those stupid vases. I stopped and asked the girl setting them up how they got air. The plant provides it. Yeah right. I cried all the way home. Just keep an eye on the little guy. Hopefully everything will work out.

[Emerson]

Tiannalady,
Why are those vases not ILLEGAL? I think I read that they no longer sell them overseas; they've been banned in many other countries. Why is the US so slow to recognize how inhumane they are??

If these were kittens being sold in a sealed box with nothing but a plant for food and oxygen, every animal rights group would be on a rampage!

Thanks so much for the encouragement. I am a very non-confrontational person, so talking to my co-worker about it wasn't easy. Let's just hope it did some good!

sef

[Denise]

Hi Sef,

Your point about the kitten is exactly how I feel. I wish we had a humane society for fish. I have been exactly where you are now with the co-worker - twice. I am also very nonconfrontational and try to get along with everyone, especially at work. I very nicely and politely told my co-workers that I had found out the lily vase was not a healthy home for their betta and why, and I made suggestions about silk plants, other containers, and other things to use for a lid. I usually received kind of a blank stare and a comment such as, "Oh, he's fine." At least both of these bettas were being fed and cleaned. I had a betta at work on my desk for a long time, so they had an example of what I was talking about, but they did not follow. (All my bettas live at home now.)

To make a long story not quite as long, BOTH of these former office bettas in lily vases are now living happily ever after at my house in suitable bowls with silk plants. I felt just like you -- so many times I had wanted to "steal" these bettas away and take them home. But I didn't, and finally one girl left on medical leave for surgery and never came back to work. She left her betta in the charge of another girl who did not know anything (or care) about fish. I offered to take care of him and she gladly turned him over. Through email with the girl on medical leave, I offered to adopt him, she accepted, and I took him home. That was about a year ago. The second one just went home with me about a month ago. His first mom left on maternity leave very suddenly and sooner than planned because of complications. I know her first concern was her baby, but she left her betta on her desk with no one in charge of his care. Of course, I took over. I kept him at work for a few weeks but removed his lily plant and brought him a nice fabric plant. I finally took him home when our office was moving and everything was a mess with packing, etc. I was debating about bringing him back to the office now that we are settled in our new place, but he is still home. The girl who had the baby visited the office a few times and I happened to be out each time. She never asked anyone who had her fish or where he was or anything! Can you imagine?! She just recenlty came back to work and I told her I had her betta at home and I wanted to keep him. She just kind of laughed and said she figured someone must have him. She agreed to let me keep him and said she didn't really want another fish. Both of these lily vase adoptees are getting old and had been at the office since early 2002, but at least they will live out the rest of their lives a little more comfortably.

The moral of this story is that not all people who get bettas or other fish (or dogs, or cats, etc.) love them and care for them the way we do. We can't save them all, but we can save some, and it DOES make a difference. Every life makes a difference, so never give up trying.

I would suggest that maybe you buy a nice little fabric plant for the betta at your office and offer it to his mom. Also, possibly you could print out the lily vase articles from HB and give her those. Most people who keep bettas in a lily vase are not doing it to be mean, they just don't know better, and she might appreciate the information and be excited to make him a better home. If not, just do like you did and let her know that you would be happy to take him if she is interested. Maybe you will end up with this little guy, just like I did. Meanwhile, keep an eye on him and do the best you can. If she puts the plant back in, possibly you could slip a straw or two in the with the plant to help him get more air.

BTW, Ana had a reminder on the chit chat board about not using names of stores because they could possibly sue HB for slander. We do NOT want anything like that to ever happen. So, let's just say that a major discount department store near me recently began displaying a betta in a lily vase. They never used to do this. The vases were sold in another department, empty, and the bettas were only in the little cups. I have talked to some of the employees and I have written a letter to the store manager where I politely, but firmly, explained some facts about proper betta care, and I enclosed a copy of the Betta Care Sheet and lily vase articles. I can only hope it will do some good.

Good luck to you and the little guy at work. Let us know how he is.

[jedicat]

sounds like you did the right thing...kudos to sef for standing up for the little guys!

i'm currently gathering evidence of how awful those lily vases are to convince someone i know not to make them to sell at her church's estate sale. she brought it up saying "hey jen, i know you're really into bettas, and i thought you might be interested in buying one of these things i'm making..." and i spent about an hour explaining exactly why this setup is so cruel (and thus anti-christian) and she STILL wants to go ahead and do it, because, *it looked so pretty when i saw it on the garden channel and in the florists and in the supermarkets*...GRR!! she has not acquired the fish or the plants yet, she was planning on doing that a week before the sale (sept. 26-28) so i still have a few days left to convince her how wrong it is.

i did find a great idea for what can be done instead...making origami bettas (or any type of fish, really...there are so many possibilities) to put in those little glass pint bowls (she already bought about 30 of them...yes, she was planning on making those betta death traps with *&%(^ing pint bowls!!! grrr...) and suspending the paper "fish" in the bowl with pieces of wire and fishing line. (and maybe a ribbon to tie around the neck of the vase.) they're decorative, unique, truly "maintenance-free" (except for dusting), and no fish are brought into harm's way. also, they'd cost a lot less to make, in terms of money, as well, so the church will make a better profit, if that's all she cares about.

i will take this over her head if necessary...i'm going to speak to the minister at her church, if she still tries to go ahead and do it.

i would also be interested in knowing if it's illegal in new york state for religious organizations to sell live animals. if i can't stop her from sending fish to their deaths through ethical arguments, i would like to be able to stop her through a legal argument.

[Denise]

Jedicat, you have your work cut out for you and I hope you can get this girl to listen to you. I have no idea about the laws, and it would be a shame to have to go that route, but it might be worth checking into. Your friend's reaction is typical. Whenever I tell someone who is using a lily vase that it is not healthy, they think I don't know what I'm talking about. People need to use some common sense and realize that bettas are not decorations, but living beings who deserve respect, love, and proper care like any other pet. Good luck to you!

[Emerson]

Jedicat,
Good luck! Let us know how it goes. The one thing I've found that is nearly impossible to change, is a close-minded person's viewpoint.

sef

[jedicat]

well, the short story is, i'm now helping her look for sites with origami instructions, and she's recruiting members of her church to help make them. she was telling me they also had some excellent ideas for making each bowl unique. one woman has access to a steel engraver, so people who buy the bowls can request a name for the paper fish to be on a metal plaque in the display, or a bible verse of their choice, or other dedications, if they're giving it as a gift. (and of course, they're going to make jesus fish, as well as paper bettas.) so yes, it was a victory for the bettas!

the long story is, it turns out that her church had been selling the betta death traps for the past few years, it was practically a tradition. people would buy them, ignore the betta for a month or two until he died, then buy another at the next sale.

she printed out copies of the lily vase articles from healthybetta, as well as other sources (bettasrus.com has a first-hand account of a betta lover who rescued a fish in a lily vase...my friend felt absolutely sick when she read it...and a bunch of other horror stories.) she passed the articles and the first-hand accounts around in the ladies' circle in her church, and they're going to bring a copy to the sale, to explain why they're no longer selling live fish.

btw, sef, how's the situation with your co-worker's fish?

[Rachel - old]

Way to go Jedicat!! That's awesome that you were able to change her course of action, especially since it sounds almost like a tradition. A tradition that definitely needed to be broken! That's just so great that not only has she been informed, but will continue to pass the information along. The new idea for the bowls sounds really nice and I'm sure everyone will like them just as much as the betta vases, if not more. You did an amazing thing for our little betta friends!

How is the situation going for you Sef?

[Emerson]

Well, the Betta is still alive, and the plant is still in another vase. But that's all there is -- a Betta in a vase. She hasn't bothered to put anything in there that he can swim in/around, and his vase is sitting on a lateral file cabinet where he can't really see what's going on around him. It's like he's just a picture frame or box of Kleenex. It really infuriates me!

I'm going to keep an eye on this. I like the idea of giving her a silk plant as a "gift," but am annoyed that she hasn't bothered to get one herself. Sometimes it's hard when we love Bettas so much, to understand how others can just treat them like a decoration.

sef

[jedicat]

yah, i can't understand the concept of thinking that a living animal is merely a decoration or a "conversation piece."

[Emerson]

I am so bummed. That poor little guy is STILL in the vase with no decoration - nothing. And he's not even where my co-worker can interact with him. He looks so sad and lonely. It just makes me so MAD!

I just wish she would go on vacation...that little guy would have to suddenly "disappear" while she's away!


UPDATE: I decided to take a kindler, gentler approach. I sent the lady a friendly email that said, "I notice that you still have your Betta. I keep meaning to tell you that the local pet store just starting carrying silk plants, and they're wonderful decorations to use with Bettas! [true; they only carried plastic plants previously]. I just bought several and my Bettas love them!" And then I attached a picture of one of my Bettas with lots of silk plants in the photo.

I know it's none of my business, but it just upsets me to see him looking so lonely...

sef

[*~labxing790~*]

Is her b-day coming up? A silk plant and a bottle of Aquasafe would be a good gift if people usually exchange gifts at your office. ;D I have a friend who has 2 Tetras in a 2.5, and changes the water monthly. I am trying to convince her how important weekly partial changes are, and I even offered to help her. She justs bursts out laughing about how "stupid" her fish are. The only reason they are so "stupid" is probably b/c they are in a tiny tank without 4 or more of their species!!!!!!